Homeschool Work Mom

This past week has been challenging.

I imagine that in every house it has been a struggle to get things going and try to maintain somewhat of a “normal” schedule.

Or maybe, like some I know, the last week was treated as an early Spring Break, to kind of let the kids be, and sort things out as a mom/new homeschool parent.

Whatever your last week looked like, I know it wasn’t easy, and for the foreseeable future, it isn’t going to get any easier.

I’ve homeschooled before. I did one semester of 4th grade, and I honestly thought it was great. I had both of my daughters at work with me(we own our own business) and I was able to juggle the workload, the baby, and my 4th grader, while my son was at school (we chose not to do a semester with him because school was going well)

2 years later, things have changed a bit.

The kids were both doing well in school. I have a 6th and 2nd grader, and my daughter is in 1/2 day preschool, but lets add an extra kid in….the baby, who is borderline toddler and into EVERYTHING…..

My last week has been complete CHAOS.

Our business HAS to continue as normal, because it is our only source of income and we are in minimal contact with people, other than giving them a ticket, so Monday started “Business as Usual”…………. EXCEPT

Instead of 3 kids going to school, and me and little man heading to work, I headed to work WTIH 4 CHILDREN!

This is my normal in the Summer, so I am truly used to having all of them at work with me, so that’s not really the issue at hand. The issue is that I have to teach them, and I don’t mean “issue” like I don’t want to do it, because I DO, I mean it as, I’ve got to figure out how to balance running a business and teaching 3 children of completely different ages.

It’s not like I can sit them down and teach a solo lesson. 6th and 2nd grades are worlds apart in learning, especially when the 6th grader has ADHD and the 2nd grader “hates learning” and struggles in reading, so he needs the additional help.

Let’s not forget the independent preschooler who wants to learn. She LOVES school, so this is throwing her off BIG TIME.

Then I have the “baby.” He is literally into everything….

So in between trying to attempt to answer the phone, keeping the 6th grader focused, helping the 2nd grader read and comprehend, making up work so I can teach the preschooler, and rounding up the baby like he’s a baby cow at a Rodeo, I am a bit overwhelmed.

When Friday came around, I was relieved, and tired…..so tired.

The week was so long, yet so short. I don’t feel like I was as successful as what I should have been with schooling or work, or “MOM-ing.”

I am blessed that my oldest loves working, or at least she loves being in the office by herself, so the latter part of the week consisted of her going in and tending to the office and doing her schoolwork, because in her words “I’d rather do my work here in the quiet without my annoying brothers and sister.” This gave me a little extra time to get the other 3 ready and pack lunches for everyone. (6 lunches)

The phones are forwarded to me, so I’m still “working,” but it’s amazing what a load it does take off, when I don’t have to rush to have everyone ready, lunches packed, school supplies packed, and be out the door to be at work by a certain time before our regular driver gets there.

I just feel like I ran a marathon this past week though……an unsuccessful one. From work to coming home and still having to have a dinner ready and doing the housework, PLUS trying to be sure to stay out of public places, and constantly sanitizing and washing hands, and making sure we are being as cautious as possible.

Then, let us not forget the parents who think this thing is just going to pass over like the FLU….. I don’t even want to get started on that, because it’s just insanity, and makes me crazy. I am going to be the Bitch Daughter-in-law, because I wouldn’t allow the grandma to hug and kiss on the grandchildren……sorry, you had lots of church folks at your house on Wednesday, and even though you “know them,” you can’t seriously tell me that you can account for their whereabouts every single day of the week…..what if they aren’t being cautious. I’m not washing little hands and sanitizing everything 10 times a day, to get a virus from YOU because you chose to have people over that aren’t taking the precautions as seriously as I am.

I am not being a BITCH or UNREASONABLE. This is a LIFE and DEATH situation we are in. Two of 4 of my children have breathing issues if they get the common cold, so don’t you think for one second I am not taking this COVID-19 thing seriously, because if they get something  like this, there is not telling how it will end.

This week was rough. I experienced so many titles at one time, I thought my head was going to explode, BUT, WE SURVIVED……

We spent Saturday and Sunday sleeping in and listening to our church service. We had NO STRUCTURE whatsoever, and I think that’s okay.

We needed that, and while I aim to have somewhat structure this week, I can’t promise that. We will homeschool how we see fit.

We did get assignments from teachers, so we will be doing that, but in moderation and taking the whole day to get it done, with breaks in between.

I also ordered a Butterfly Garden, which I thought would be a neat Science lesson. It is suppposed to come with LIVE caterpillars, and they will eventually become butterflies, so prayers we can keep them alive better than we do fish, and we can see the marvelous wonder of going from a caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly.

I’ll be praying for all of you, as long as you promise to pray for me too, because we are really all in this together. This is uncharted territory for everyone, regardless of how we are doing it. Whether you are out of work completely, or working from home, trying to teach multiple children at one time, is tough. It will wear you out. So be sure to give yourself some slack, and know that you will get better at it, because I have a feeling it will be like this for a while.

God Bless, and PLEASE stay home if you can and WASH YOUR HANDS!

 

 

So Over It

I’m SO OVER IT.

EVERYTHING.

OVER EVERYTHING.

I say this and will continue to keep going and try and enjoy the little bright moments that my family gives to me, but for RIGHT THIS SECOND, I’m over it. I want a vacation by MYSELF away from it ALL…. Children, husband, any sort of RESPONSIBILITY or any event that requires me to be somewhere at a SPECIFIC time.

I say all this knowing it will never happen, because the whole time I would be away, I would be thinking of and missing my sweet babies and having anxiety about what they are doing while I’m gone and if everything is okay, so here I sit…

……..NO MOM-cation, no serenity, no quiet, no time to think things without an interruption……..

Today, I sit at WORK, with my toddler crying to the point of gasping because I took her Ipad away, the baby is teething so he’s fussy, and a husband who is at his whit’s end at with the business.

I am expected to be his rock ALL the time, but when I need something, I can’t even come to him because he has all these questions and wants to know why I feel that way, then he will send a sweet text saying how great of a mom I am like I’m going to fawn all over it.

DUDE, I KNOW I’m a good mom, can YOU be a BETTER DAD and HUSBAND?!?!?

I don’t want this to come off like I don’t appreciate his work, because I do. I am there for the most part EVERY DAY with him and know how hard he works, and when I say hard work, I don’t mean just long hours, I mean PHYSICAL, MUSCLE draining LABOR….. He WORKS incredibly hard, BUT….

So do I…….  I am the one who gets the four kids up and ready in the morning times, and I’m still expected to be at the office as soon as I can so that I can fulfill the obligations there. I have to go at least 2 schools every morning and 2 days a week, I go to 3 to drop kids off. Then, I have to haul 15 minutes down the road to get to the office at a decent time. Occasionally, I have a doctor appointment for one of the kids, so I drop off, run to the doctor, drop off by school, then head to work.  It’s a lot and it become overwhelming….not so much the dropping off and appointments, but the getting ready every morning and doing it BY MYSELF, and then having to stare at the house from the night before that looks like wild animals live there, and there is nothing I can do about it because I’m rushing around like a maniac trying to get all the kids together, fed, lunches packed, shoes on, coats on, bows in, and so I just stare at the mess.

It is a daunting thing to stare at. I have all intentions of starting the washing machine and swapping the laundry, but it just doesn’t happen. The mornings I think I will have time, I end up forgetting someone didn’t finish their homework, or I didn’t sign a permission form, or I can’t find a kid’s shoes or my keys…..it’s always something.

I just want some help too. I am expected to be at work and “help” and I want help at MY place of business (home) Is that too much to ask?!? I mean I am really growing somewhat of a resentment towards my husband because he gets to go to work WITHOUT children. He gets up in the morning and gets HIMSELF dressed, and head out the door all within 20 minutes, nothing hindering him. He gets to drive in silence on the way to work without kids yelling at each other about who touched who or where their jacket is because they are cold….. He gets to actually DO HIS work while he is at work….I have to figure out how to answer a phone and it sound professional with a screaming baby on the other end.

Then I try and put it into perspective that this is only a glimpse in time. One day they will be grown, and while I know that is true, the present is NOW, and right NOW I am supposed to keep it ALL together, the office, the house, the kids, MYSELF, the schedules, and it just doesn’t seem to be happening………

I mean my husband agreed to be in a wedding the same day as our girls’ dance recitals. It is both of their FIRSTS and he has told this guy, who we haven’t hung out with in at least 10 years that he would be in his wedding, INSTEAD of going to the recital, and then the Bachelor Party he tells me is ON OUR ANNIVERSARY weekend….. what kind of shit is that?!?!?   First, I am supposed to go to a CLOSE friends’ wedding this same weekend, but tell them we can’t once we get the recital date, THEN he gets asked to be in THIS wedding, the SAME weekend, and says YES, KNOWING we aren’t going to the other one because of the recital…….THEN he wants to go to the Bachelor Party on our ANNIVERSARY weekend!?!?!?!?!

I’m at a loss.

As you can tell, today has been a rough one, and while I do love my husband, or at least I think I do, I get so frustrated at what little he does to help us in the present. He keeps saying business is going to get better, and it HAS, but he works a lot of hours now, but he wants credit for working these hours, because it’s PLASTERED on Facebook. It was to the point this morning, that I almost “checked in” at “motherhood” and said some stuff just to try and prove a point, because let’s face it, moms are ALWAYS “checked in” to motherhood. It’s not something we get up and get ready for….We are just there… ALL THE TIME…

I am hoping and praying I get through the rest of this day and tomorrow’s hopeful post is much more positive and uplifting, but today is Thursday, and that means, getting home at 3:45 from all my school pick ups, having to get dinner started and toddler dressed for tumbling at 4:30, getting back from tumbling around 5:30 and have the two big kids’ soccer practices at 6:00 and 7:00……. Somewhere in between we will have Homework, dinner eaten in shifts, baths, bedtime, and MAYBE a “mommy drink” to keep my sanity.

 

Pray for ME.

We are all SUPERMOM

Earlier tonight as I was driving with slightly blurred vision and a pounding headache taking my oldest to Dance Class, I began thinking…..

Now, I already know motherhood is never ending and everyone talks about all the things we have to do, but seriously…. ALL THE THINGS we have to do….

No SICK days.  The LAST thing I wanted to do this evening was pack up the 4 kids AGAIN just to drop off the eldest at dance, not to mention the baby was in a horrible mood, and I was almost to the point of vomiting because my headache had become so excruciating, that I could barely keep my head up and eyes open.

Guess what though???  I carried a sleeping toddler back to the car, buckled in the screaming baby in his carseat, explained to the 6 year old that he had to get a shirt on to go outside and get in the car, and smiled at a very grateful 11 year old because I mustered up enough energy to do it and take her.

Motherhood is SO many things. It is sacrifice and selflessness, pride, joy, exhaustion, sadness, happiness, anger, confusion, love, excitement, fear, patience, etc…

It is the most wonderful gift to have, and yet so many take it for granted. We work non-stop as moms, whether it be carpooling to sports or activities, or school, a friend’s house, packing lunches, doctor visits, plays, teacher meetings. We go to work all day or stay at home all day ( either one is working all day) and all the things we do rarely get noticed.

Is anyone but us going to notice whether that plate in the sink got washed or not? Nope.

Is anyone but us going to notice the toilet paper roll needs to be changed? Nope.

Who remembers to sweep the floor? Are the kids going to care at the end of the day if there are crumbs under the table?

Is anyone going to care that the load of laundry you put in the washing machine YESTERDAY morning is STILL in the WASHING MACHINE and has to be rewashed, and then it may even be forgotten again because of all the hats we wear and ways we are pulled.

We are in a constant mind game within ourselves to be the best and do the best and make sure we have everything done at work and around the house and for our children with projects, sports, and activities…. ALL THAT WE DO…… and WE still don’t think we are good enough.

Ask your children if they are upset because the laundry wasn’t done or the floor wasn’t swept, or the dishes didn’t get put away from the dishwasher…… I bet they won’t even notice.

We hold our expectations for ourselves so high, yet our kids love us the same regardless.

I guess my point is this….Moms will load up all the children with a borderline migraine so that our oldest kid doesn’t miss dance class, and the kid that didn’t want to get dressed got dressed and has probably forgot he didn’t want to get dressed in the first place, the baby will stop crying because he will fall asleep on the way to the dance class, and the toddler that was napping, is still asleep, uninterrupted.

And YOU, MOM, you will get a little break because you are going to order pizza tonight instead of your stir fry, HEALTHY MEAL planned, because everyone deserves a break sometimes and whether you dirtied the kitchen and cooked the healthy meal or ordered the pizza so you could rest in the chair to get rid of your headache while the baby slept instead of screamed, all the kids are going to love you the same and STILL think you are the BEST and SUPERMOM.

Keep being SUPERMOM, ladies, because whether you think you are doing your best or not, you ARE! Nobody is perfect, but to our kids we are pretty darn close!!