Busy Mom vs. Husband

Yesterday I went into work late….we own our business, so not a terribly big deal. Our oldest daughter likes to go in with my husband and “run the office” on days that I just need a little more time to get the other 3 ready to go out the door.

We just got back from vacation Sunday, so when it was time that I should be leaving, the baby was still asleep in the bed, because let’s face it…..NOTHING is better than being back in YOUR OWN BED…….   well my bed, because we “co-sleep,” but not really the point.

Anyways, I finally get to work, and it’s chaotic….4 kids, small office, phone ringing…..chaotic…

My husband is asking me all these questions, trying to figure out who hasn’t paid bills, because we need money in the account to pay employees, because while it was Monday, today is Tuesday, and that means, payday….

So, I am getting questions from everywhere, then realize we are out of receipt paper in our card machine, and we have a customer that was supposed to be coming to pay their bill that was paying with card, so I have to leave AGAIN….and of course by this time, it was lunchtime, so the kids needed to eat, so I couldn’t just run to Office Depot, I had to stop and grab lunch before heading back as well.

I got a text from my husband to stop and grab starting fluid….I ignored it, because the baby had just fallen asleep, I was already on the way back to the office, and I was just over taking orders for the day…whether it’s the husband or the children, I feel like that is all I am good for….taking orders and doing everyone’s bidding.

I finally get back to the office temporarily,  because it was Open House for the kids at their new school. We shove down our lunch very quickly, jump back in the car, then head to the school, for what I thought would be a relatively quick visit since the kids are in the same building this year….WRONG…..

Our daughter has 4 teachers/ 4 classrooms, so we had to visit them all….once we found them that is.

Then, after meeting my son’s 2nd grade teacher, he wanted to go visit his kindergarten teacher (he went to this school in kindergarten), but kindergarten is in a completely different building….

Did I tell you how we were “walking” through the school this whole time….. I have 4 children, and of course, my husband isn’t going to go with me, because that would be too convenient, so, I have a wagon….the baby was asleep initially, so kept him in the carseat and plopped in into the wagon, then had to BEG the 3 year old to stay in the wagon while we navigated through the PACKED hallways.

I pull the wagon back to the car, pack it all back up, and head to the kindergarten building so my son can say hey to his teacher.

We finally get done and head back to the office the grab the deposit for the day…meanwhile, my husband calls wanting to know where I am, because I guess I have been gone too long for his liking, but oh well….I’m trying to do the MOM thing. I explain to him that I am less than a mile away but I will NOT be staying, because I have the get to the bank before 5:00 and we have volleyball practice at OUR HOUSE at 6:00.

I am on the mend from vacation…my house wasn’t ready for visitors. While, we do keep them on the screened porch, I still have to have everything somewhat situated in case anyone needs to use the bathroom.

I drive up to the bank at 4:56, then get home around 5:15, knowing I have an extremely LIMITED amount of time to do everything I need/want to get done.

I needed to straighten living room, bathroom, kitchen, porch, and laundry room, as well as wash a bunch of dishes, and REALLY wanted to attempt getting dinner started or ready to be started….. I have planned to cook country style steak because my husband made the comment a couple weeks ago that I haven’t cooked that in over a year, so I wanted to surprise him.

My oldest helped with the living room, the bathroom had torn toilet paper all over the floor, from whom I can only guess was the baby got in there somehow the night before…. I washed what I could in dishes to make it look presentable, put a pot with the rice, water, and butter with the lid on, so I would just have to turn it on when practice was done. I mixed up the casserole and got it in a pan ready to be put in the oven when practice was over. I took out all the other supplies I needed to make the country style steak and the topping for the casserole. I had everything sitting out ready to go for when practice was over.

Then, I remembered that I needed to call my mom to come watch the other kids during practice, because I can never depend on my husband to be home in time to watch them. 5 minutes after I called, my husband shows up, and immediately asks if I’ve called my mom to come over and watch the kids. He goes to get in the shower, not even asking if there is anything he can do to help me.

Then, my parents get to the house….my dad is helping me coach, so that’s why he is there, and then my mom, obviously to watch the kids……BUT, as if I don’t have enough going on, my mom looks around and sighs, as if my house isn’t clean or good enough…I’ve had it at this point with everything. I tell her, I’ve got 4 kids, 5 if you include the husband, I’m trying to have a hot meal for them at a somewhat decent time, I’ve been working on school stuff since they start Wednesday, AND we just got back from vacation…I haven’t had time to do all the things that need to be done!

Then the girls start arriving for practice. Practice lasts all of 40 minutes due to the weather, which was almost time for me to regain my composure with the day’s events.

I immediately start on dinner, my husband goes and sits on the couch on his phone, and lifts not one finger. I tell him, I need him to keep the baby out of the kitchen, because I cook the country style steak in hot grease, so he did manage to come get the baby from under me. He asks me what I’m cooking, and immediately says, “you know we have leftover spaghetti. Why didn’t you just warm that up?” I was speechless to be honest with you, because yes, I could have warmed up spaghetti, but he complained about that last night, because I bought the kind with tomato chunks in it by accident, and he freaked out about that. I told him kindly, that I have the taco meat pre-cooked for Tuesday night because we have a volleyball game, and in hopes of winning Tuesday night, we will have a game on Wednesday night, and we would reheat the spaghetti then.

During dinner, which it was the best country style steak I have ever cooked….I proceed to ask him how everything is, and he responds with ” well, it’s been so long since you’ve cooked it, that I really don’t remember what it tastes like… But, you can cook. You have proved your worth.” Proved my worth? Are you freaking kidding me? I said nothing, because at this point, we were all sitting down as a family, and I didn’t want to start an argument.

He eats the majority of his plate, and says, “well, I need to go eat some TUMS.” You know, at this point the only thing positive out of his mouth, was that ” I have proved my worth,” and that wasn’t sitting well with me, so I don’t even know what to say or do.

After dinner, I was telling him what I needed to do in order to finish getting things ready for the kids first day of school, and he did offer to wash the dishes, but with the entails, him just washing what will fit in the other side of the sink, not finishing all the dishes, and I will be watching the baby, not doing anything that I need to be doing, so I told him that. I told him that I would wash the dishes, because I knew if I did it , it would be done, and not half way done like he likes to do it. He didn’t argue either. I guess maybe he does the half-way washing on purpose knowing it drives me crazy?? Who knows….I finish the dishes, wiping the counters, all that, and proceed to tell him that I have to go upstairs to get the kid’s school shirts done (they have to have uniforms, so I make their uniform t-shirts to save money, because mine look just like the ones you buy.) We just don’t advertise that I make them, because I don’t know that you aren’t supposed to, but I also don’t know if it’s okay.

I head up the stairs and the first thing he asks me is how many shirts to I have to do and what else do I have to do. I tell him I have 12 shirts already printed to press, and I wanted to go ahead and get our daughter’s school supplies monogrammed.  We are in the South….I will slap a monogram on anything possible, to include School Supplies.

I got 8 out of 12 shirts pressed and he kept asking me the entire time when I would be finished. He then asked what else I had to do, AGAIN……. When I told him I wanted to get her school supplies done, he asked “Do you have to do them tonight?”

In my mind…. PLEASE tell me when else I am going to do them? It was yesterday, so Monday, and they start school TOMORROW, Wednesday. We have a volleyball game tonight at 7, so by the time we get home, it will be at least 8:30, which is bedtime for the first night of school, and the baby will be getting fussy by this time, and I am at work all day today, after I had to take the oldest for her ADHD appointment….  When else will I have time to do it?

Guess what though??? The baby was crying, and he knows if the baby is crying, I am not going to continue to do what I am doing, so I design a few of the monograms that I was to print, and head downstairs to find him on his phone in one hand and holding the crying baby in the other, so with a little EFFORT, I’m sure he could have gotten the baby to sleep and gave me the opportunity to finish doing what I was doing.

Why am I telling y’all all this?? I honestly don’t know. I’m not really sure at this point that anyone even reads this but me……..

But, If you are out there? Is this just a man thing?? Or did I seriously get screwed in the husband category? I love him, I do, but this negativity that’s been going on, when I am truly trying to be a good wife, is getting out of hand. I mean, I go to a job every day that I DO NOT WANT to be at, because I know he NEEDS me there to do things, so that’s what I do. I go and do, and then when he comes home, he acts like I’ve been there all day, and haven’t been at work too…mind you WITH THE CHILDREN.

Why does he feel like it’s okay to be this way towards me, like he is some sort of God??  I just don’t get it. I am a full time mom and full time employee, at the SAME TIME, then I go home with said children and continue to do what I need to do there also. Am I just asking for too much, for him to be a joint partner with the kids and the house?? Is that even realistic? It’s not like I ask him to cook dinner, or anything like that. I don’t even ask him to do laundry. I simply want the trash taken out on the regular, and then the occasional assistance in keeping on top of things.

That’s not too much to ask is it? I mean, y’all, he spends most of his time ON HIS PHONE while I’m spending time with the kids or folding the laundry, and he sleeps on the couch and makes a mess like a college student and LEAVES it there in the mornings, for me to pick up. How hard is it to throw your spit bottle away, or your empty Mountain Dew can, or the Little Debbie wrappers, or put your late night either ice cream or cereal bowl in the sink?

Seriously y’all, PRAY FOR ME!!!

Life isn’t a Hallmark Movie

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE a good Hallmark movie, but it’s the same thing over and over again (again, I still sit on my couch and watch them over and over like a broken record)

Why though? Life isn’t like these movies, not that I expect them to be, but for once, it would be nice to feel the real ness of what a complicated life really is like.

The movies are always boy meets girl in a small town, they fall in love and something always happens….

Your recent ex tracks you down and confesses his love all the while interfering with the new or rekindled love that you’ve found in said small town….

Or your business is failing, you fall in love with the local who happens to be wealthy and your business all of a sudden is thriving and making it while the day before you were preparing to close the doors….

Again, I love these movies, but oh how life is NOT a Hallmark Movie!

Maybe that’s Hallmark’s goal…to let you incision what could potentially be, MAYBE, or to just get you out of your world for 2 hours and engrossed in a life you only dream of.

What I can say is, there aren’t Hallmark movies about a couple who has been together since high school….no, they didn’t drift apart and meet back after all these years in their small town…. they haven’t faced a divorce and come back to their hometown, or dealt with a spouse death…… they’ve stuck it out TOGETHER all these years, and come back to their hometown…. with their FOUR kids….

They’ve been through two military deployments, high school and college graduations, death of grandparents, death of friends while overseas that they couldn’t save, a separation that almost ended in divorce, but through some almighty power, they MADE it.

Then again they were almost torn apart due to an affair that ended up making them stronger.

They’ve dealt with loss of friendships, financial hardships, the death of a child, and a business that just seems to keep afloat, BARELY, regardless of all the time and love and work that’s been put into it.

A wife who is self diagnosed as struggling with PPD, but not sure if it’s just depression from moving away from all her friends and a town she’s known for the last 13 years, but trying to keep it together between dance and tumbling and volleyball, and soccer, and guitar lessons.

A husband who gave up is law enforcement career to try and better his family and works his ass off every second of the day and it’s still a struggle to keep food on the table.

A couple who has defied all the odds against them and still love each other, and try their best to BE the best for their 4 kids who adore them.

A mom who is really trying to keep it together every second of every day despite the fact she feels like she’s drowning in a sea of bills, laundry, dishes, diapers, baths, and being a personal milk factory.

THAT should be a Hallmark Movie.

The inevitable triumphs despite all the road blocks that keep popping up at every turn. Maybe it would take you to an alternate universe like Hallmarks movies seem to make me do, but it would give a different perspective as to anything and any obstacle has the capability of being overcome.

Pray for me!