Middle of the Night Mom Thoughts

My husband had surgery 3 days ago…it was extensive ACL reconstruction surgery in his left knee….they constructed an ACL using part of his hamstring from his right leg, so he’s in a lot of pain.

While he is being a great patient, I’ve been sick… I was sick before the surgery…fever, cough, congestion, runny nose…all that.

The kids have been sick….

The big kids are fine and staying off with grandparents tonight.

I’ve finally got my know it all father in law out of my house, and of course my cough is now worse because I don’t have any help here, both little kids have fevers, and I’ve got 3 different alarms set to make sure my husband has his medicine on time.

My daughter is scratching constantly for some reason, and has decided to come get in the bed with me, and the baby is beet red because his fever is so high.

He refused to take Tylenol or any other medicine, so after trying to cool him down with a rag which he screamed at me for laying on him, I forcibly had to give him the Tylenol.

Of course this resulted in him gagging and drama that wasn’t necessary had he just taken the tasty grape goodness. I mean if he only knew what adults have to take, he’d be a bit more reasonable, possibly.

Meanwhile, I’m forcing this Tylenol down him, while I am coughing uncontrollably, and every time I cough I’m afraid of peeing a little.

I decide to get the baby a popsicle to help cool/calm him down, which leads to me pushing up a popsicle every 10 seconds praying that all the juice doesn’t end up all over my bed.

Meanwhile, every cough loosens my bladder, and inevitably leads to peeing a little, which results in having to walk away with the popsicle for 30 seconds which ends in baby screaming while I’m peeing, holding the popsicle, and it wakes the toddler who tries to comfort the screaming baby while the baby slaps her because he doesn’t want her consoling him, he just wants mommy and the popsicle.

Fastforward all of 5 minutes….we are on popsicle 2, toddler is back asleep, baby’s cheeks are still beet red, but fever is hopefully falling, the cough drop I’ve got doesn’t seem to be working, but I’m praying the medicine I took while I was obtaining popsicle #2 starts working and controls the cough that makes me pee a little.

Baby should be done with popsicle #2 in about 3-5 minutes, which will either bring in tears for yet another, or a satisfaction that results in going back to sleep, which will leave me in limbo for roughly 18 minutes when my alarm clock will be going off to get my husband his medicine and replace his ice in his ice machine and his cold pack from the freezer.

Praying this doesn’t wake the possible back to sleep baby so I can actually go back to sleep as well.

Pray for me!

I Signed up for THIS.

I read things that will say how people put “fake” lives on Facebook and nothing is truly that perfect, which I agree with on the occasion, especially when I see one of my friends who complain CONSTANTLY about situations, then go posting how great everything is.

I’d like to think that I keep it real for the most part. I do use the occasional SnapChat Filter, only because I don’t always have the time or want to make the time to put makeup on, and I’ll use the filter that just makes my face look decent, not like a superstar.

Anyways, I have noticed for some time now that when I post a video rant or a post about a kid being sick or not feeling well, I get an

“I’m so sorry.”

or a

” Cherish these moments, because it won’t last forever.”

“It will get easier, Mama.”

Let’s get one thing straight…. while I half-hazardly appreciate the concern, there’s no concern here. NONE. I just want VALIDATION that this MOM thing ISN’T for the FAINT of HEART.

There is NO need for an APOLOGY about my kid being sick, or me being up all night and waking up in the middle of the night catching throw up in a towel and/or on myself from the baby.

I SIGNED UP FOR THIS!!!

This is MOTHERHOOD.  In all its glory.

The SAME people that complain that “your life is so perfect through Facebook,” are the ones who want to try and give the advice on how sorry they are and give you pity when things AREN’T going perfect, so WHAT DO YOU WANT??   My perfect “fake” life, or MY “I just got threw up on in the middle of the night life?

In my eyes, when you are saying, “oh, it will be okay mama. this is just a difficult time.” I KNOW THIS!   Again, I SIGNED UP FOR THIS.  I don’t need your SYMPATHY.

I am just trying to not so silently make my point that THIS IS WHY moms ONLY POST POSITIVE things, because they don’t want to hear APOLOGIES. We just want a “Hope they feel better soon.” or a “Let me know if you need anything.”

And trust me when I say, I don’t post because I want something. I just simply want to let people in on my life, because let’s face it……

If I run into you today, I’m going to be half-asleep, probably not in the best mood, because I was up half the night being puked on, and I may or may not be wearing a TIARA because my kids DARED me to since it’s my birthday……

So not only do I look half-asleep and cranky, but I will also be walking around looking like a Hungover Disney Princess.

I’m a HOT MESS…

BUT….

I SIGNED UP FOR THIS!!!

I knew there would be days of puke and poop and all nasty things, but I also know this job comes with SNUGGLES, and SLOPPY KISSES, and a LOVE that has NO END and NO Measure, no matter how wide these sweet kiddos spread their arms to tell me just HOW MUCH they love me.

I SIGNED UP FOR THIS, so

PLEASE

STOP with the apologies when everything ISN’T perfect!!!

Sometimes a mom just needs to vent to VALIDATE that what she is going through is NORMAL and KNOW that SHE ISN’T the only one up in the middle of the night getting puked on, or cleaning shit out of a bathtub.

So please, just let it be. Let the mom know, you know what she’s going through and she ISN’T ALONE.

Don’t offer an apology.

Again, She’s looking for VALIDATION, not SYMPATHY.

Offer another CRAZY story about YOU being up in the middle of the night, so that she TRULY knows she is not alone.

Motherhood is messy and emotional and one of the most stressful and amazing journeys I have ever been through and continue to go through, but in the end…..

I am SO glad that I SIGNED UP FOR THIS!