Food Addiction

I’m not a doctor, and I have no real statistics. This is just based on me and my personal choices and how I feel about the whole food addiction thing.

I’ve always thought it was a ridiculous accusation to have a good “addiction,”

I mean drugs, alcohol, those are addictions, but FOOD?!?

….well, the older I get, the more I see it and the more I’ve personally witnessed this addiction amongst myself and now trickling to my daughter.

I never thought of it as an addiction, but it IS.

I crave a sweet and will do anything in my power to eat a sweet before I will let the feeling pass.

It’s a mind game.

I will stand in my pantry with a bag of chips while my husband and kids aren’t nearby, and will shove down as many chips as I can while no one is watching.

OR

I’ll go in for seconds straight out of the pot while I’m supposed to be cleaning up the kitchen, just so I can eat more and satisfy whatever my mind is telling me I “need”

The only thing this seems to accomplish is me knowing I overindulged, being guilty I did it, and the scales not decreasing.

Then I will get on my daughter for doing the same thing I do. She just hasn’t figured out how to completely hide it yet.

So what do I do? I don’t want her to have the same struggles I have.. I’ve been on diet after diet, tried different things.

It hasn’t always been this way. I did Weight Watchers with my mom when I started 8th grade. It’s much easier when the food is being prepared for you.

Eating right and playing softball at the time dwindled me down to a size 5, and I still thought I was fat and not skinny enough.

Over the years I’ve tried Atkins, Keto, Paleo, Weight Watchers again, counting calories, standard diet/excercise, Slim Fast, different weight loss pills, hydroxycut, Medifast(Optavia)…..I’ve tried a lot.

They’ve all worked kind of in different ways, but nothing I have been able to stick to.

Optavia was my best success other than weight watchers during my younger years.

I lost around 30 pounds in about 2 months, then surprisingly found out I was pregnant.

My pregnancies must consist of a diabetic diet, due to gestational diabetes, so my eating stayed pretty consistent with what it had been, just no more Optavia.

I blew up! Now, I know you gain weight while pregnant, so I anticipated that, just not as much as what I did. I guess stopping Optavia “cold turkey” was a shock to my body and this last pregnant was the most weight I’ve ever gained during a pregnancy.

So my most healthy body pre-pregnancy inevitably ended with my heaviest weight post-pregnancy.

I told myself I’d do Optavia immediately after birth to get back to what I was, but the “Nursing Plan” just didn’t cut it. My milk supply was down and the baby was cranky, so that didn’t last very long.

Here we are a year later, and I’m still no where I want to be. I was at 213 when I went for my 6 week Post-pardum visit, and until about 3 months ago I’ve stayed at that weight.

I tried Optavia again, and I’m currently teetering between 199 and 201.

I’ve been at this for a week bc I can’t keep the eating down right, plus with everything financially we have been going through, I haven’t been able to order any more “fuelings.”

I’m at a point now though, where I’m not convinced Optavia is that great. I mean, yeah it gets you down to the weight you want if you stick to it, but what happens when you get down to your weight, and stop with the fuelings.

I’m not saying stop the habits you learn like eating lean and green and keeping carb count low, but stopping the fuelings.

I saw a post from one of the coaches and he made the comment that he looked forward to starting the 5 and 1 plan on Monday because he ate bread over the weekend and gained a couple pounds.

So eating bread one weekend make you gain multiple pounds, so you’re forced to go back in their plan?

Again, I’m not an expert, but unless you are a whole damn loaf of bread, I would think it would be okay.

I WANT to eat bread! Now, I’m not a huge bread eater anyways, but I love the occasional sandwich, so what do I do?

We’ve established I already have a good addiction, my daughter appears to be headed the same direction…. I want to eat sweets and bread and things that taste good.

I want my cake and want to eat it too! I get the saying now!

I’m discouraged. In my mind, i count carbs and count calories and think that I can do this plan but change it up as long as the calories are under a certain amount or the carbs are under a certain amount, but it’s EXHAUSTING!

I’m hoping to one day get a handle on all this and be able to report back. I just want to be healthy for myself and my children and not feel so insecure in my body. I am blessed with the children I have and my good health, but I want to be comfortable in my skin and be proud to walk out of my house in a fitted shirt and shorts and not worry about the shorts being so tight my belly is gonna hang over.

I’ll keep you updated.

Pray for me!