In The Fast Lane

Do you ever feel like you just never stop?!?!

I haven’t blogged in a few days, due to a hurricane and life in general. The kids were out of school so life has been entertaining and interesting all while a bit overwhelming and difficult.

This morning on the way into my son’s school, I was walking him in and I realized how fast I was trying to walk. I was almost pulling him. Then I realized, I had been doing it all morning….rush, rush, rush!

My son looks at me with this huge amount of love when we get to the spot where I have to leave him to walk by himself, and I notice he doesn’t even realize how much I’m rushing. All he sees is that I am holding his hand to walk him in and he knows I will give him hugs and kisses and smile as he continues down the hallway.

I wake up in the morning before anyone else and then I rush to get myself ready and the 4 kids, and then before I know it, it’s time to get all in the car and leave. I’ve got 3 school to drop off at, and then I head into work until our toddler gets out of school. Let’s not talk about the construction that they are doing by her school…….

Instead of turning left into her school, I have to go down about 2 miles through construction and then do a U-turn to go back to her school. Today, the cones have been set up so that I had to do a partial U-turn, back and then continue on. I guess they don’t realize people have to actually fit through there. I understand they are just doing their job, but it truly is frustrating trying to get to my little one.

I finally get to the school and then head home. I got home long enough to swap out the laundry, cook us lunch, and get the baby out of his car seat. As soon as I was about to fix E’s plate, I got a phone call. My oldest’s teacher was calling to tell me that she was sick and wanted to come home. I quickly put the plate in the microwave and left the food on the stove, and began to try and explain to E that she wouldn’t be eating right this minute….we were going to let it cool and we would eat it when we got back. She, of course, threw a huge tantrum, because she didn’t get it. I’m sure it was mostly because she was tired and desperately needed a nap, nevertheless, there was a huge tantrum involved. Lucky for me, she went to sleep before we could even get to the school to pick up my oldest.

When I got there, I was flooded with memories of my childhood as my 4th grade teacher came walking through the office, along with another lady that was at the school when I was there, 20 years ago. My daughter’s class had been outside, so of course she took forever to get to me. By the time we got back home, I was able to shove my lunch down really quickly as I nursed the baby, then it was off we went again to sit here….in the Mommy Line. Again, I was rushing to get to the mommy line. This is literally the only time in the day I feel like I’m not rushing, once I’m here in this line.

Why do I do this to myself? Rush, rush, rush…..at least Monday is a pretty relaxed day once we actually get home. We don’t have anywhere we have to go. I was able to start dinner in the crockpot during the chaos of cooking lunch, so I don’t have to worry about that, unless you consider that bacon I have to cook to add to it, but I kind of enjoy that, because my house will smell wonderful.

Before we can go home, we must make a gas run so i don’t run out going everywhere, stop by the office again to pick up a deposit, go by the bank, get home and do homework, do dinner bath time, bedtime, and get prepared to do it all over again tomorrow.

Why do I say all of this? It’s more of a reflection for me to try and do better and not rush as much. The kids don’t see it and they have no worries because I am here to do all the worrying for them. They don’t feel rushed, not do they have any inclination to feel that way. Oh, to be a child and not have a care or worry.

I need to be more aware of my rushing. If I got up a bit earlier, maybe I wouldn’t feel like I had to rush. I did much better the beginning of the school year, because we got up about 20 minutes earlier, and while we still left at the same time as we do now, and we are ready now, the kids were able to sit down, watch a little tv, and just be a kid in the morning before having to really start their day.

I will do better and be up a bit earlier and maybe I can be more like my children and not feel rushed, and in turn, I am hoping it will make the day go much smoother and it will make for an overall better day.

Pray for Me!